*WOMAN'S ENGLISH*

"Yes" = No.

"No" = Yes.

"Maybe" = No.

"Its your decision" = The correct decision should be
obvious by now.

"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.

"We need to talk" = I need to bitch.

"Sure....... ... go ahead" = I don't want you to.

"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you retard!

"How much do you love me?" = I did something today
your not going to really like me for.

"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.

"You have to learn to communicate" = just agree with
me stupid.

"Are you listening to me?" = [too late, you're dead]

*******************************************************

*MEN'S ENGLISH*

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired" = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like
to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like
to have sex with you.

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to
have sex with you.

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have
sex with you.

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted
psychological trauma are you going through now?

"Whets wrong?" = I guess that sex tonight is out of
the question.

"I'm Bored" = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you" = Lets have sex now.

"I love you too" = Okay, I said it... we'd better have
sex now!

"Lets talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing
that I am a deep person and maybe then you'll like to
have sex with me.

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for
you to have sex with other guys.